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  • Writer's pictureNicole Virtue


Damn, wouldn't that be nice if it was? A world without any steps backward?

Just because we know better doesn't mean we will always do better. Our nervous systems and the pathways in our brains are wired for the familiar. It takes a ton of conscious effort to shift behavior patterns that are deeply rooted.

This doesn't make it your fault or mean anything is wrong with you when you slip into old ways of thinking or being.

We can have all the knowledge in the world...but it takes practice to rewire our brains. It takes practice to create safety in the body so that we can respond consciously in a new way, rather than react out of old patterning.

Let me add that it does not help to beat ourselves up for backwards steps. Take it from me because I am really good at shaming myself. "I know better." Yeah. I do. And I'm practicing shifting my behaviors. And it's not always perfect.

When I'm feeling down on myself about something I want to change and it's taking longer than I want it to, this is what I've been doing:

💛 Remind myself that I've only been practicing new behaviors for a few years compared to a lifetime of my old patterns.

💛 If I feel upset...don't hold back. Let the tears out. Let the anger out. Most emotions pass within 90 seconds.

💛 Check my I ruminating on what I did? Is it helpful? (UM, no... haha)

💛 Zoom out and look at the bigger picture of my growth. Despite the ups and's trending up baby!

💛 Celebrate what I am proud of about myself.

💛 Act as a coach rather than a critic when I do something I'm not proud of. What can I do to support myself better next time? Who can help me?

💛 Practice writing as my future self, how do I feel? How did I get to where I am?

💛 Give myself a freaking hug.

Healing is not a linear journey...acknowledge and celebrate your progress y'all!

I’m here to support you in that 💛

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